


Bitter Coffee

by Umidunnostuff



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hide centric, M/M, Tkgsecretsanta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 11:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5414957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umidunnostuff/pseuds/Umidunnostuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide bought a coffee machine or a specific reason. All that's left is to find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter Coffee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SydAustralia101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SydAustralia101/gifts).



Hide looked at the bulky coffee maker he had somehow installed in his apartment in consternation. It took up half the space on his counter, and he had no idea what half of the levers and buttons did. The sleek exterior was shining and new, but mildly smudged and splattered with coffee from his initial attempts at using it. 

The counter space not occupied by a massive coffee machine was strewn with various bags of coffee beans, each gleaming package advertising a different exotic locale and extolling the richness of the beans. Some also described additional flavors or traits, but really it was all the same to Hide. One or two empty packets lay discarded, the victims of his attempts to learn to use the massive unnecessary machine. The only reason he had even bothered to buy such unnecessary commodities was his best friend, Kaneki.

Kaneki, who had disappeared without a word, and Hide couldn't kid himself, he was probably in terrible danger. How he ended up as a ghoul, Hide couldn't say, but he would bet his left hand that it was a recent occurrence. In recent months, Kaneki had been even scrawnier than usual, and the only thing he seemed to be able to ingest without a barely disguised cringe was coffee. It hadn't taken much of a stretch of the imagination to gather that something had happened over his hospital stay. 

Hide had been planning on surprising Kaneki with his newfound skills, and maybe have an actual proper conversation with him about his late-onset ghoulism, but that was out of the idea as of a few weeks ago. Now all he was left with was crippling worry about his friend, and the constant smell of coffee in his apartment, that would not be going away anytime soon.

When he worked in that coffee shop, Kaneki had smelled like coffee too. Whenever they talked, Hide had gotten a whiff of it, maybe from his hair or his breath, and now that was all he could think of, every day waking up to the smell of bitter coffee, and bittersweet memories.

Since Kaneki had disappeared, Hide continued to frequent Anteiku, chatting and flirting with Touka and the other staff. He was almost certain that they knew more than they let on. The clientele were also a rather suspicious lot of people, at least half of them ghouls, and the staff themselves were probably also ghouls. Hide was not particularly put off by this fact, and really took it in stride. As long as he could try and get to Kaneki through them it was fine. Honestly, he was half considering abandoning that lead and instead going for the CCG, who track ghouls as a profession. That route held risks, the main one being that the CCG also kills ghouls as a profession. 

Hide was desperate. Kaneki had been his best friend, and more, for around ten years, half of his entire life. Hide drank more coffee than ever before, partially in an attempt to draw happy memories forward in his mind, and partially because he couldn't stand to sleep not knowing where Kaneki was. Kaneki and Hide had been near each other for so long that it felt foreign to be apart. They had held more sleepovers than they could count, several of which had involved Hide holding a curled up Kaneki as he sobbed so hard he shook and his voice was sore later. This was mostly during the years with his aunt. 

Hide had tried to protect him then too, urging Kaneki to join clubs, or bringing him to fast food restraints after school, then home for homework, anything to shelter him from that woman. He tried not to let him know, because Kaneki would feel guilty, but to Hide, Kaneki deserved so much more. It was no secret that the guy had been dealt a shitty hand, and he dealt by reading, burying himself in his books and denying reality. Kaneki had never hurt anyone on purpose. He had hurt enough for all of those around him, and all hide could do was try and support his skinny back as it held up the weight of the world.

Hide checked his phone, a useless habit. On it, there was message after message, all sent to Kaneki with no response. He sighed in resignation, and then tossed it in frustration, feeling wry satisfaction at the thudding noise it made against the wall. Hide then picked it up, checked for a response just as fruitlessly as before, and put it away before he made himself cry. 

Hide had told himself, early on, that he wouldn't cry for Kaneki. If he cried, if he showed pain, Kaneki would try and take that on. Hide absolutely refused to give his friend another burden to carry. He forced his tears down, and instead started tinkering with the coffee machine, instructing it to make the strongest coffee that it could. He scrubbed at his aching eyes, wondering how bad the rings under his eyes were today. 

Would he even go to school today? Lately Hide had been devoting entire weeks at a time to investigating and tailing ghouls, CCG agents, anyone he could that might have a lead on Kaneki. He had gotten close once or twice, but currently there were no leads to be found. Looks like he had no choice. He would have to force himself to focus on his classic literature class, which he was forced to take to fulfill a credit, and that he had planned to take with Kaneki, what with all that had happened. 

Every time Hide entered that class and the teacher started talking about the very same things Kaneki had tried to explain to him for so long, he expected to see Kaneki next to him, face rapt with attention, expected to be able to make a witty quip before being shushed, and reluctantly returning to face the front. It was almost a physical pain, the weight in his chest every time he saw his friends ghost, his afterimage in the place where he should've been. Kaneki had burrowed into Hides heart, and was an integral part in the fabric of his life. With his disappearance there was a massive tear, a hole through which a cold wind blew, chilling Hide and stealing the warmth from his life.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my TG secret Santa entry for SydAustralia101. I hope you enjoy my angsty hidekane and merry Christmas!


End file.
